Marriage

WEDDING INFO

The priests, deacons and staff of St. John's Parish are pleased to be working with you in preparing for the celebration of your marriage. Many other members of our Parish Community will also assist you in this important time of preparation and the beginning of your living the Marriage Vocation. Marriage is central to the meaning of the Church. You are beginning a new call in the Body of Christ through your commitment in Christian Marriage. We want to be of every assistance to you. Our program of preparation is designed to give you the best in guidance and support.

STEP ONE:

Meet with the priest or deacon in the parish who will be the celebrant at your marriage. Normally, a member of this parish's clergy, a priest or deacon, is the celebrant of marriage in our parish. Should you have a friend who is a priest or deacon, he may assist the parish clergy. The only exception to this is when the priest or deacon is a relative and then he may be the celebrant for weddings of family members.

The first meeting should take place no less than six months prior to the tentative date for your marriage.

STEP TWO:

Prepare II/Pre-marriage Inventory - This will be administered by either the priest/deacon or a member of the parish Marriage Ministry Team who is trained to administer and share this informative inventory. This is NOT a "test," and you cannot flunk it. It is NOT used to determine "if" you will be married. Rather, it is used by those involved in the preparation for your marriage to decide what will be the best preparation programs for you. It will also give you information to help you discuss your compatibility and differences (strengths & work areas) in your relationship.  

STEP THREE

A) "Love In Deed Couple"

You will meet several times with a couple especially trained in marriage preparation. This couple will guide you through reflection on the meaning of marriage and will structure dialogue with you and between you on important issues.

B) "Engagement Encounter"

This is a weekend retreat for engaged couples. We do not require you to attend, but we recommend it as an excellent opportunity for reflection, dialogue and serious discussion. It does not take the place of the "Love In Deed Couple."

C) "Special Preparation"

At times, because of time, circumstances, or need, we need to build a special program for a couple. If necessary, this will be discussed with you by your celebrant. Our goal is to assist you in every way and to challenge you to prepare seriously for your marriage. Every indication is that couples who take time to prepare for marriage have a stronger beginning. Many potential marriage problems can be handled more effectively before- hand. It is our goal to help you in this way.

D) Pre-Marriage Counseling

If there is an indication that you would benefit by some professional premarriage counseling, we will frankly discuss this with you. We will recommend competent Christian counselors in our area. You may choose one of them or another of your choice. Many couples benefit by sincerely dealing with differences and problem issues in a direct, serious, and professional way before marriage. At times, previous marriages, relationships, children, family conflicts, hurtful experiences, and areas of difference and conflict are best dealt with in a positive way before the marriage when there is time and opportunity to face them honestly. Again, it is our intention to help you prepare for your marriage not to prevent your marriage.

STEP FOUR:

• Plan for the ceremony. You will meet with the Celebrant of your wedding for the actual planning of the ceremony. There is a form in this packet you will need to fill out as part of your planning. 

• Meet with the MUSIC DIRECTOR to plan the music for your ceremony.

•  Meet with the WEDDING CONSULTANT to plan the rehearsal, etc. 

• Fill out the MARRIAGE PAPERS with the Celebrant of the wedding at least (1) one month prior to the marriage. At that time you will need the following necessary papers:

  • A new (current) Baptismal Certificate

    Obtain this from the parish where you were baptized. Please include the address of your church of Baptism as we send notification to that church. The copy should not be the old family copy, but a new one issued just for your marriage. Your marriage will then be entered into the Catholic Baptismal Register for your own personal records.

  • Freedom to Marry Form

    Have someone who has known you all your life fill out one for each of you. A parent, brother, sister, or some other relative who has known you all your life may do this for you. These are in the packet.

  • If there has been a previous marriage

    You will need the Church papers of Annulment or Defect of Form. This should be discussed with the priest/deacon at your first meeting. A DATE CANNOT BE SET for the marriage until the ANNULMENT IS FINALIZED.